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the ballad of jackie chan

by Milk

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1.
ranch 05:44
(i want it, i want you) (ranch) i'm looking for some friends so here's an olive branch it's a ticket for the tractor going out to the ranch riding to the farm it feels like a dream let you savor all the flavors all the spices and the cream i don't want your balsamic i don't want your vinaigrette i don't want your blue cheese all i want is (ranch) feeling dippy with your carrots or you got a dry salad need more dairy on your pizza or just a refined palette make it wet with the dressing ditch the cap, no finessing get that coat on your throat vinaigrette i be detesting all i know is ranch all i flow is ranch all i sow is ranch all i go is ranch stomach rumble like ferrari recipes like guy fieri wishbone hidden valley newman miss it extra sorry so when you craving buttermilk tacos at titos or the most american style of doritos we can team up with johnny joe and reggie if you're feeling bland we can butter up yr veggies if you got the money, get an avalanche its spicy, its creamy, it's delicious it's ranch take me to the ranch up on the hills take me to the ranch ah yeah with the feel show me what you got with the trees by the parking lot in the back seat get your freak on babe i can put it on the speakers (for the love of god) i like it in my coffee because i use it as cream i drink when i'm coughing and i call it medicine it was made in santa barbara 805 right by the goodland goleta on the fly oh baby gotta give me some of that ranch babe gimme some of that some of that some of that some of that i need some, some of that white gold baby i need it, need it in my soul i let it, lay it down baby drip it drip it drip it (ranch) oh gawd for the love of god damn for the love what are you just doing with it you're not even using it it's on the other side of the table just pass it to me just i'm reaching i'm reaching so far i'm reaching over, man i just god damn it i need it i got a salad it's dead here (ranch)
2.
hey there boy you'll always be the fool and you're never ever cool i'm sorry that's the rule spill my milk i'll kick your can i'll bet you wish you fucking ran but you don't know who you're dealing with i'm fucking jackie chan after school when the bell rang circled up in a blood ring the crowd's ready for something the people want blood and blood is everything karate muy thai krav maga tiger style pistol grip judo chop when i'm done they'll need a mop body slam claude van damme i'm going to kick your tiny dick what did you say don't walk away i'm going to punch your fucking face i'm freaking out and i don't know why i'm freaking on the inside i'm freaking out and about to cry i didn't ask to be the bad guy better run when you see me fists of fury i'm bruce lee butterfly with a bee sting the people want blood and blood is everything break your arm twist your neck turn your face into a wreck snap your bones rob your home take your cash and toss your phone boiling acid melt your face kill the jury and the case your life will meet its bitter end i only wish that we were friends i'm freaking out and i don't know why i didn't ask to be the bad guy i'm freaking out and about to cry i didn't ask to be the bad guy burn the wicker man all hail the jackie chan who burns the wicker man i'm freaking out and i don't know why i didn't ask to be the bad guy
3.
octopussy 03:21
way down in the bay of mexico i met a girl with a goldfish tail you know how the seashell grow on the shoreline she wraps her legs around me she spreads her legs in the sea octopussy you know the water getting hotter it's ten feet tall come wash me off with your sacred cloth and the water's getting hotter but so is poseidon's daughter with the length of summer i'm in the salt water left behind 20,000 leagues under the sea could not speak, could not breath and then she put her lips around me she wraps her legs around me she spreads her legs in the sea octopussy i got no sleep last night most deep swimming deeper and deeper i'm in need she wraps her legs around me she spreads her legs in the sea octopussy
4.
caveman 04:20
laying down on a sheet of stone in a dank cave i call my home looking out on the world today i feel like i come from another age i see the plane go by in the sky (cro magnon) i know it's physics but i don't know why (cro magnon) i hold the phone and it rings in my hand (cro magnon) how does it work, does it have a plan (cro magnon) i see the stone, hear the trees in the wind now i know, i belong to this land but a car rolls by and honks its horn i'm a stranger to this place, lost and forlorn i see the plane go by in the sky (cro magnon) i know it's physics but i don't know why (cro magnon) i hold the phone and it rings in my hand (cro magnon) how does it work, does it have a plan (cro magnon) is this the fall of mankind? all this technology? i feel the earth is colder it just confuses me is this the fall of mankind? all this technology? i feel the earth is colder is this the end of me?
5.
crutch 03:23
i don't mind what you find across the line i don't mind who you are what you need i don't care i'm stuck on me scandalous is what we do i'm on the brink of loving you oh wait baby, that's not true don't call this love it's just a passing crush but the way you holding me up make me think your my crutch don't call this love babe it's just a pass of the kush but the way you smoking me up make me think your my crutch i don't care who stops to stare i don't care who you are what you need i don't care i'm stuck on me scandalous is what we do i'm on the brink of loving you oh wait baby, that's not true don't call this love it's just a passing crush but the way you holding me up make me think your my crutch don't call this love babe it's just a pass of the kush but the way you smoking me up make me think your my crutch
6.
1453 01:57
7.
i'm coming for your back door baby don't squeeze yet cause i'm not yet ready you're waking up the neighborhood honey you're screaming like you always should, funny don't shed tears of gold when i'm gone

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released August 31, 2017

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Milk Berkeley, California

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